Mixed Feelings on Mother’s Day

Welcome! Welcome! This year, Mother’s Day was so full of mixed feelings. It actually is every year, but it seemed so much more intense this year. My two oldest boys are getting so “old.” I’m starting to see the end of their time at home wither away. The time, as redundant as it is, has flown. It will continue to fly. I look back on their childhood with way too much regret. I pray that they never have to give a speech on Mother’s Day. They’ll have to either lie or dig extremely deep to find good things to say. I know that I am exaggerating, but the mistakes I have made pile up way too high.

Yet, they are such wonderful people. How on earth do I deserve these wonderful people? Yesterday, we were on our way to visit my husband’s family. My two oldest boys were talking and being quite amiable with each other, which is happening more often than not, lately. I was just listening and marveling at them and in a lot of ways trying to really enjoy the moment, even though I was not part of it.  My second son just started saying, “Mom, mom, mom,” almost in a nagging type of way. I turned my head back and looked at him. He just smiled and said, “Hi.” I wondered again, how on earth do I deserve these wonderful people?

I had worked the night before and got home later than usual, because of a couple of problems that had come up. I came in the door a little grumpy, a little teary eyed, and a lot tired. My entire family was still up. The clock was inching towards midnight and we had a bit of a drive for our visit to my husband’s family in the morning, so I was kind of surprised. They told me that they wanted do to my Mother’s Day then, because Sunday was going to be busy. They had dinner waiting for me. I wasn’t hungry, but my daughter hugged me tight and was so excited about it, so I sat down and ate a few nibbles. She was satisfied.

My kids and my husband sat me down on the couch and proceeded to spoil me. They had been shopping while I was at work. My youngest son and my daughter did all the wrapping. I opened their gifts. I think they were more excited than I was. Apparently, I complain way too much, because they got me a foot massager and a neck massager. I spend a lot of time on my feet at work. I told them that was really thoughtful. They proceeded to put my feet into the massager and wrap the neck one around me. I was truly being pampered. Amidst all their laughs and giggles at my reactions to the massager, the stress of the night at work lifted just a little.

The spoiling didn’t stop there. The younger kids are still in elementary school, so they still bring home wonderful things from thoughtful teachers. My kids have a four day school week, so they brought home their treasures on Thursday. My daughter couldn’t contain her excitement, so she pretty much gave away what she was giving me, but I didn’t see it until Saturday night. She bounded into the room with this cute bag with her hand print on it that looked like a flower. She had filled the bag with all kinds of goodies that she had drawn. My youngest son also did some art work, but he also had a deck of cards where he wrote 52 reasons why he loves me. He also bought me a pony pack of petunias with his own money.

So, with tears, guilt, joy, and resolutions to be a better mommy, here’s to another wonderful, horrible, confusing, trying, difficult, and beautiful year. Oh, how I wish I could slow down and make my time with them last longer. Despite all of my mistakes, they have turned out wonderful. Thanks for reading!

4 thoughts on “Mixed Feelings on Mother’s Day

    • They sure do. They seem to slip by faster with each passing year. Another cliche. 😉

  1. Ye shall know them by their fruits, right? Well, Jen, your kids are AMAZING, so I know what kind of mother you are.

    • Thank you. You are very kind. I hope they have memories like mine and mostly remember the good things. My mother was a saint.

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